Is there something about a guy you wished anyone would finally give you an honest answer?
Your girlfriends are great but they might know know about the other side. They haven’t lived a man’s life.
Maybe your guy friends are not typical. They’re “nicer” than the “boys” you’ve dated. They don’t have the experience you wish they had.
Your family’s a little too close or perhaps too far. Either way they know you too well and their answers are more about you and not men in general.
You’ve tried searched out here in the great web but for some reason, you just couldn’t get a real satisfying answer. They, like I’ve been guilty of too, seem to open up more questions that satisfy just one of them.
And now you find yourself here… wondering, hoping, trudging through a few posts, reading a few comments… it’s kind of nice but YOUR problem is different. It’s just not covered somewhere.
This page comes to you as an opportunity to leave a question (anyone) can answer but also it’s a starting place to categorize everything you wanted to know about guys.
Leave your random question about men and I just might feature it as a post – or I’ll throw you a quick answer straight from the instincts of a guy who understands men and wants you to understand us all better.
Here are the basic categories I’ve found most questions fall into:
- All kinds of Guys
- Beauty
- Breaking Up
- Commitment Issues and Fears
- Dating
- Differences
- Dirty Talk
- Does He Like You
- Flirting
- Game Playing
- Getting His Attention
- Guys Not Being Real
- How Men Attract Women
- Insecurity and Jealousy
- Is It Love
- Maturity and Masculine Men
- Meeting His Needs
- Online and Text Experiences
- Quick guy Q and A
- Relationship Answers
- Sex Appeal
- Sexual Desires
- Shy Guys
- Signals
- Stare and Approach
- The Disappearing Man
- The Friends Zone
- What Does He Mean
- What Guys Want
- What Men Like to Know
- Why Do Guys Do…
- Work Relationships
( If you feel I’ve missed one then please let me know about it below…. thanks in advance…. Peter White )
Comments on this entry are closed.
I met this guy in a class of mine and he was nice. He is shy, and gave your typical shy guy signs that he was interested. Due to the class situation we were in, it was super hard to have a conversation with him, but all in all we’ve had enough conversations to be aware of each other’s existence, so I’m talking five or six convos. Long story short, my friend let it slip that I had a crush on this guy, which I did not intend to happen. I haven’t seen him in a long one due to circumstances, but I sent him a message to clear things up and apologize. He said it’s okay and that he understands but in regards to me liking him, this was his response “I don’t want to rush into a relationship with someone I’m not already good friends with but I wouldn’t be opposed to being friends first and stuff.” So I’ve been stuck trying to figure out whether he means friends first then see what happens or if that was rejection?
Also, I sent him a message in reply to his message, and he never replied to it, I’m not even sure he saw it.
So what do you think is going on?
Hello Samantha,
By all means tell your friend I’m upset with her and to never do that again. 🙂
Please don’t apologize for her to him. He probably only saw it as you finding a reason to see if he likes you back. I realize it already happened but just felt I’d share how it could’ve backfired.
My gut honestly tells me it was a rejection in the nicest way possible. They happen.
Now that is not to say something won’t happen. Some guys take forever before they realize they’re attracted to someone. Friendships occasionally do turn into something more. It’s just not something to rely on unless you almost immediately change your tactics and the dynamics of the situation and work from that point. ( Probably only works because it’s better than just being friends and hoping something happening which barely ever give results.)
Just please don’t build your life around the possibility of something happening.
And certainly make sure you are exploring lots of other options.
Thanks for writing and hope your friend keeps her mouth shut next time and allows you to do things your way, HAha!
All the best to you,
Pete
Hi Pete,
How are you? I need your advice. So I just met this guy online like 2 days ok. Seems like a very nice person, but maybe it’s me he just seems to be moving to fast. He told me a lot about himself which is ok, but he wants to know like my entire life history. Past relationships, all about my work, family, etc. I’m not cool with telling someone zi just met online my entire life story. Even with guys I’ve dated in the past didn’t move that fast. I must admit we do share many common interest. What are your thoughts?
I’m new to the online dating thing and would love to here your feedback.
Thanks and have a Great Day!
Yvonne
Hi Yvonne,
I’m doing absolutely wonderful. 🙂
What about you? How’s your family? Have you ever been married? Do You want kids? What do you do for a living? 😀
Seriously… Haha!
Be wary of guys who move too fast or guys who ask questions like that. Not because it’s not a nice thing to do but I believe they need to learn a few communication skills to really know HOW to (and with) talk to women.
Now I’m sure he’s probably just a nice guy who thinks this is what he’s supposed to do BUT never feel like you have to tell him everything.
There are ways in which we, guys and gals, exchange information and learn about each other which are far more rewarding and fun and perhaps, he needs to learn this skill.
I wouldn’t put him down for it. Just keep it all in mind and never let a guy move this fast. Back away. Change the subject. Talk about “other” things and make sure you set up a safe face to face meeting BEFORE you get too deep with him.
And I WILL have a great night,
Pete
Hi Pete,
Happy Wednesday!!! Thanks so much for the advice. I’ll let you know how things go.
Have A a Great Day!
Yvonne aka “Blessed247”
Hi Peter, thanks for your sharing these valuable pieces of information about guys and your personal experience, I’m sure a lot of confused women appreciate you for this, it really helps to gain more control over our emotions in the most intense moments with guys..
I have a general question. After reading to articles one after another I feel completely puzzled and confused. First article is “how guys experience love – your respect and admiration is the key”, and another one – of Cristian Carter, I don’t remember the title, but the general idea is that telling a guy about your feelings is a turn off.. How this two approaches can be integrated together at the same time ? Admiration without telling about feelings? I feel really stupid.. Having actually big time troubles with men, since I’m not beatiful and the right behavior is my key to success. And what would you advice, if I appeared to loose that moment of natural spark, trying not to be so easy and supposed to make him work a little bit more, which caused him to grow cold. I did it bc the last guy dumped me when I was most vulnerable and full of admiration. Is the right strategy really that important or ” you can’t do wrong with the right person” is more likely the truth here? I’m really tired of being someone I’m not. Im direct and assertive, I like to tell guys what they should do to please me, I tried not to, just passively waiting for their moves, and it doesn’t work! They just don’t chase me..
Hi Greenky,
I believe the two articles you mentioned were: How Men Feel Love, Your Admiration and Respect Is Key To His Happiness by James Bauer and Christian’s A Secret About Men Women Do Not Know – The Paradox Of Attraction. (Both are at “The Approach”)
I can understand how this information can be confusing.
Okay first, there’s nothing wrong with telling a guy how you feel BUT he’ll respond better when you show it. What Christian was staying was one, if you tell a guy how you feel and he’s not feeling it too, it won’t work.
You see, men and women tend to become more insecure when they’re falling in love or attraction IF they’re not sure the other person feels the same. If THOSE feelings of insecurity cause you to let it all out hoping you won’t lose the man, THAT is (generally) when things can go terribly wrong.
In other words do NOT act out of insecurity or believe you can change how a guy feels just because you’re letting him know how you feel. It doesn’t work that way.
Secondly, passively waiting is not the best thing to do. You must be active, not waiting, and never sit around hoping he’ll make a move. You want to lure him in physically or sexually.
Third there’s nothing wrong with being direct and assertive. I would actually use that to your advantage in dating.
This means you’ll go after the dates, live fully and do things where you going to meet more men. Just be doing that shows your assertiveness and your directness comes through when a guy realizes you’re not into playing games. These are YOUR traits, use them for yourself, and allow guys to experience the real you. You just can’t take the lead in dating or the attraction part. There is where the man feels the need to lead. OR at least where he should 🙂
Now I wouldn’t go telling a guy on the first few dates what he should do to please you but in bed, later, you can definitely feel good about doing that IF you think he needs the encourage or road map. 😉
Honestly Greenky, Besides what I wrote I just think you have to find a balance which works for you. You can’t be hard to get all the time. You can’t make him work for you all the time. It’s a delicate balance but once you learn it, works amazingly well. Just play with it a little until you find one which works for YOU specifically. Trust me I had to learn the balance too and it took a little bit of work but was worth every failure along the way.
It sounds like you’re actually trying too hard because you think you’re not beautiful. Keep in mind within every woman lives a sexual edge to her. Of course not all men will respond to every type of woman but what you might not see as sexy or beautiful, I’m positive there is many men who would argue with you. When sexiness becomes a combination of your looks and attitude you’re onto to something.
Hope all this helps you out and sorry for the confusion. All the best to you,
Pete
Hi there – wondering your opinion on why some men can’t handle it when their girl gets more attention from anyone (not other men, just friends, family, etc.)? I had a 5+ year relationship with the most wonderful guy who I am still head over heels in love with… but when we would go to parties or to meet friends when we dated, and even now occasionally as friends he says I represent him well … but when the group start to flock to me vs. him he SAYS I make him proud and how everyone including him loves me but he gets sullen and eventually will get upset with me for something trivial and seemingly unconnected. I always try to include him, present ourselves as a team, and put the focus back to him when I notice it… and then we can all share the convo or whatever is going on. I am assertive, and well spoken – we are both fairly well read and sucessful… but I don’t consider myself to be ‘stealing’ the limelight or purposely trying to hog attention… trying to get wiser.
Before we split up he kept accusing me of humiliating him in front of his friends, trying to ‘steal his friends’ etc. Is that emasculating him? Embarrasing him? I try to be very conscious of this but I’ve been trying to understand why he feels this way. He is very emotionally mature in almost all aspects. I want to maintain our friendship and not make the same mistake again… It was a long term, bi coastal romance which doesn’t help. He’s tall, good looking and used to lots of attention. I am petite and probably over compensate for that 🙂 How can I not emasculate him without acquising myself and being submissive? Would really value your opinion. So glad I found your site! Thanks~ k
Hi there K,
Sounds like he has something deeper going on here.
You said he’s tall, good looking and is used to lots of attention so just maybe he hasn’t developed other parts of his personality which he feels deserves the attention.
Good looking people who are used to the attention will often grow to despise it because they don’t feel people are willing to get to know them before they judge. They assume they have to work harder to prove themselves because others assume, just because they’re good looking they get handed things to them.
So… he’s used to getting all the attention and probably doesn’t like it when he’s not the center of it all. Instead of taking responsibility he takes it as a personal judgement against him or how someone is stealing his fame.
He gets angry to get the attention directed back towards him.
Quite honestly it sounds like a part of him hasn’t matured. Like there’s a part of his self-esteem which is slightly broken or built up through false confidence. But I’m not one to decide or determine that fully from my view.
All I can say is that he’s definitely directing the attention back his way by starting a fight with you. Why he acts this way has and was determined in his life from child to adult.
You can use proper communication skills on him, something I can’t teach you especially in a comment area but guys like this you either: Learn to deal with it. Understand it’s who he is. Acknowledge his attempt at attention and how it makes him feel. Meet him half way. BUT I wouldn’t start treating him like you have done something wrong. It HIS problem that he hasn’t learned how to deal with it.
I’m sure if you get to the root of his problem or why he acts this way, based on what I’ve told you, you just might get him to see how it makes YOU feel and hopefully from there you can compromise a solution which works for both of you.
Again, just my opinion and you asked 🙂
I’m also glad you found my site, now go tell your friends because this site needs attention too 😀
All the best,
Pete
Hey Peter!
2 weeks ago, a guy approached me and asked for my number, so I knew right off the bat that he was interested in me. He asked me to grab breakfast with him and he would always check up on me every day. However, he lives halfway across the globe from me and he knows that. If we were to get into a relationship, it would be an LDR.
He and I text all the time, and the first week, he was the one initiating texts every time. I did’t have to do anything except sit back and respond to his advances. But the second week, it’s been…different? He doesn’t text as much. I have initiated texts a few times now, but I know that a good relationship has balance where both partners do an equal amount of work.
It’s been 3 days since we last texted and he still hasn’t said anything. What does this mean? Should I be worried?
Hello Pete.
Well, I’m here again, I’m not sure if you remember this “cheesy college girl” hahaha.
Well my question this time is, do guys choose which girl they wanna talk to? Like only the pretty one or something?
Its like this, my friend has a boyfriend and so we girls always hang out together with her boyfriend and sometimes his guy friends will be there too.
The thing is, they always tryin to talk to the other girls, but not to me.
They even wont look at me, like, hey, we’re even in the same lectures. They cant be not knowing me at all,right?
Or is it because I’m less prettier than my other girl friends? Ouh Im starting to get low self esteem now because of this.
And Im not the loud type too,so..
I dont know.
Why dont they acknowledge me?
Help me pete ㅠ ㅠ
I became a freind with this guy on his.com things started to get cute and seriouse at the same time.in a way that i was always the serious person when i was chatting with him.i realized that he never got bored cuz i didnt give him room to talk about other stuff like intimacy.cuz he knew that im looking for a seriouse relationship.at first he was messeging me jhe had told me that he was thinking about me…he always imagines kissing me….etc..recently i started chatiing more like good morning , how are you,he has still goog with me.but let me tell you this that hed never given me he # but when we first started chatting he said he wishes to see me a lot i told him lets meet he was busy so i never asked him again cuz its not my place to ask …then he said what type of person i am if i am open into intimacy during dating or i wait until i get married i said yes, i would wait into i get married… but hes still talking to me.just recently told me that hes thinking about me a lot,hed seen me in his dream.he chats with me very professional and nothing about sexual things at all, cuz i told him that im more seious than having fun…i need some help advice anything cuz i don’t want to make a mistake and get hurt..thank you.
yes.,i guess im getting cunfused.or im rushing into this ?
i guess hes cunfusing me.i told him right in the begginign that i dont usually fall in love with guys that easy.
Thanks for letting me comment. I have to say this is good stuff you’re posting. Seriously. I’m a 44 year old woman and was thrown back into “the sea” a couple years ago (he cheats, leaves, I wind up with Chip who lives on my shoulder, etc.) So now that I’m barely considering getting out there again I so need a refresher course. My radar is wrecked, I can’t hardly tell a 32 year old from a 25 year old. My friends cheer “COUGAR” when I tell them that but I’m not sure what the heck to think of that. I just barely quit gagging after my 18 year old son explained to me what a MILF was and that his friend had called me that. So thank you for your honesty and guidance, and laughs too, as I said, good stuff!
hi pete!
i’m seriously having issues!!!! i met this guy on a dating website and we connected right away and we have been texting off and on. i am in high school (senior) and over text he says all the time, if you see me then say hi! but he claims he never sees me, however i literally see him like 1000 times in the day. i am sooo shy so i cant walk up, but i am also afraid that he sees me and thinks i’m not attractive or whatever. is he leading me on? or do you think he really doesnt see me?! i’m getting restless…. help!