Hey Miss Beautiful! Yeah I’m talking to you. π
Why would you want a nice guy?
Is it because you believe a nice guy wouldn’t cheat on you? Maybe he’s less likely to treat you like a piece of meat. He’ll actually respect your mind but still completely adore your body.
But let’s be honest, how many nice guys have made you feel those incredible emotions some jerk was able to do?
My bet is those jerks, the bad boys or just plain assholes you found yourself falling for (whether you figured it out later or not) were so much better in bed than that nice guy you gave a chance.
When the nice guy went in for a kiss you felt his legs shaking and his lips trembling. His anxiety clearly killing any moment in which a future sexual encounter was something you would look forward to.
He talked about a relationship before it even happened. You knew upfront how bad he wanted you and it made you want to run and hide behind any man who shows even a hint of indifference.
The jerks didn’t care. It was like he didn’t give two shits about anything in this world expect for himself. He made it hard to control your emotions around him. Either pissing you off or turning you on, or worse… both. He knew what buttons to push and he didn’t care if he “accidentally” pushed them.
What about the “phony” nice guy? He plays you. That’s why we call him a player. To him you’re no more than a challenge. You’re a prize for his ego to share with his friends and a notch by his bedside that the next girl stares at thinking to herself,
“How the hell did I get myself in this situation. Oh well it’s just one night of great sex and I did enjoy it. At least his guy is so good at it. Sometimes… Haha! . But why does he have to be such a scumbag? I know he won’t call me again. Hell I’ll be surprised if he does. I’m definitely not going to see him again anyways. One night only and that is all this player going to get with me.”
Miss beautiful, how many times have you been hit on in your life where you knew it was just an act?
That’s the nice guy “pretending” he doesn’t want you but you’re smart. You see right through his pathetic, “I’m not like the other guys.” role. He says things like,
“I will treat you nice. I’ll be your everything and I’ll be anything you want me to be.”
But you know deep down that his lack of ability to stand on his own offers no challenge in your life. You’ll be left in charge of his masculinity. You’ll be left numb and uncaring and hate yourself because he’ll only make you feel bad for leaving him.
Don’t get me started on he whiny nice guy?
He’s the one that tries to guilt you into a date be appealing to your empathy. As if empathy has anything to do with attraction. He’s the one that gives you “honestly and upfront” ALL the reasons why you will not date him, ever.
And he’s right.
You won’t date him but not for the reasons he chooses to believe.
It’s his low self-esteem and the lack of confidence in himself. It’s so nerve wracking that sometimes you want to smack him up side the head.
But you don’t.
You know no matter what you tell him he will always believe whatever his reality is. He’s either too ugly, too fat, too poor, too bald, too broke, too small, too feminine… Okay that last one might be a real deal breaker.
Some of them even have the excuse that you don’t want others to see you as a couple. As if you’ll be forever embarrassed to be his girlfriend.
He’s probably right there but it’s not because you’re appalled at being with him… It’s because you know he will just treat you like a first place trophy.
Your image will become the root of his confidence or esteem and that kind of pressure should not be left on anyone’s shoulder to bear.
He will put you so high on that pedestal scared to death of having you fall. Not for you but because if he lets you to reality, you’ll leave him for someone “better.
What about this: It’s not that his looks don’t turn you on, it’s his lack of loving himself that turns you off.
Miss Beautiful. Do you really want a nice guy?
Of course you do!! But we know there’s a lot of nice guys out there that think you don’t. They think you want the gorgeous bad boy, or the slimy jerk who treats you like shit.
You’re looking for the nice guy who can evoke those same emotions deep inside you the bad boy accidentally does.
The nice guy who lives passionately for himself.
The nice guy that when others leave his presence, they just feel a little better about themselves.
He makes you and everyone else feel at ease, comfortable, and he’s fun on top of that!
His personality and presence are strong enough. You understand he believes in himself but he modestly helps those around him without ever putting them down.
He’s that cool nice guy with the warmest touch, softest body, and yet in bed he just seems to know when you want mind blowing hard sex, or just to make love for hours and hours.
On top of all that he exudes a calm indifference towards the women in his life.
He’ll take you if he feels like it. But if you don’t, he’s amused and flattered you would turn him down.
And he always manages to smirk back with a such a knowing and sexy glimmer in his eyes it drives you crazy in every way.
I‘m sorry. I see the disappointment in your eyes when you meet an incredible man but you feel nothing for him…
Because he agrees with your every idea. Bends to all your demands.
When you flirt with him he offers no challenge back. Instead you make him nervous because you’re advancing… on him? He probably is even thinking you want to marry him just because you are flirting with him.
He might make you laugh but that’s all he does. You don’t get those hot feelings deep inside your body at the end of the laughter. You just stop laughing… until he makes you laugh again. Like fun with nowhere to go.
He might not understand how HIS laughter makes you feel good.
How flirting makes you playful.
How his sultry eyes make you feel curious.
And that soft occasional touch can send goosebumps throughout your entire body.
He doesn’t understand that you DO want a nice guy but you want one that understands you.
He doesn’t understand everyone, everywhere, but he understands YOU and how to make YOU feel special.
Well I refuse to ask you to teach the nice guy. That’s my job. π
I refuse to have you ruin any moment in which you test a man for his real capacity to turn you on. That’s not fair to you.
But I DO want you to think… (but not to over-think it all)
“If he wants me, let him figure it out on his own. I am not his teacher or his mother. I am a woman who spends my whole life surrounded by my insecurities while every Tom, Dick, and Harry notices how much effort I put in how I look. I have my own issues when I stare into the mirror everyday and he has his. I don’t ask him to solve my problems, why should I be expected to solve his!”
Hey “Miss Beautiful” do me a favor.
Give the occasional anonymous support to allow the nice guy become something you do want or better yet… desire! After all, we are in this together. We’re all connected in one way or another.
So for every guy I help to right himself in “your” world, through me or the people I recommend who are better at it than me π they can and will become one more guy you could possibly meet today, tomorrow, or the next day…
One more man you might bump into one day who understands you more than any other guy you’ve met and he doesn’t screw it all up by believing a beautiful girl like you couldn’t possibly love a man like him.
The support I’m asking is NOT what you might believe but I know you can feel it… it’s NOT all about him, it’s about YOU!
This is where the slow clap applause builds and builds. Haha!
Seriously.
Understanding men is extremely important but understanding yourself and how you communicate all of your born beauty to him is just as important.
Give as much time in understanding men as understanding yourself and you’ll give yourself a much better chance at enjoying one more happy and healthy relationships.
Seek both and learn how they relate to each other.
How they connect in your life.
How they make you beautiful and how men seek out woman who know their secrets without using it against them.
I’m “okay” at it and I promise I’m getting better. π This guy’s better –> Evan Marc Katz β Understand Men β The Key To A Happy, Healthy, Committed Relationship. This is my special link with a secret surprise you won’t want to miss.
With all your questions and desires to understand everything I’ll soon be catching up to him so make sure if he truly changes your life you tell him everything about me because I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.
If you’re looking for serious answers today – packaged and ready for you to learn then I definitely suggest make the decision to give Evan a little of your time. I bet you’ll be quite surprised by his advice and help.
So Miss Beautiful… You DO really want a nice guy, don’t you?
Look into Evan above and tell me about below… I’m here to listen and learn just as much as you are and so does every anonymous nice guy I know for a fact stops by and reads everything you write.
I really like your articles! This is yet another one that I fully agree with. I recently got out of two relationships – one long-term, serious, with a nice guy. And another – a fling with a total jerk-player. The nice one was a reasonably good fiance, who respected me and who put me on a pedestal. The bad one was great in bed, but a real nightmare in everything else.
There is a saying in my native language that ‘you want a bad guy for a boyfriend, but a nice guy for a husband’.
When I was seeking advice from others about my fiance, I heard similar things – that it’s good to have a stable, nice person for a lifetime.
I don’t agree, I don’t want to settle for such a choice. I want a man who gives me both – stability and excitement. I believe there are such men out there. And if I don’t find one, I prefer to be alone than to settle. (But I really do believe I’ll find one!) Cheers!
There are such men out there – they’re rare but they ARE out there. After (we) are done teaching a nice guy how to create attraction or get them to stop making so many mistakes with women, we throw in some edge to their lives to balance it all out.
I will say many of them don’t make it that far though. π