Do You Impulse Buy Your Way Into Relationships?
Think about how many people spend lots of time thinking and researching what they buy like a new car, a new giant screen television, the latest and greatest phone.
They go online. They research it. They look to others to give reasonable reviews they can rely on.
They, in the very least, spend a little time figuring out which business should get their money based on the knowledge they gathered to assure they don't get some lame product that will only break down right after they buy it.
And sure, with all the research, sometimes bad things happen but they usually don't feel like they made a bad decision.
Nope.
They usually blame the product or the company and not themselves, or chalk it up to just plain old bad luck!
Yet, they get over it and move on ready to buy something else when the time or money comes along.
Okay - yes - some do, maybe more than other engage in impulse buying.
They see something and have to have it. Since it's only money, they buy it and hope for the best. That's perfectly fine because no matter that item is, it's replaceable. If it breaks or lets you down, it's just an inanimate object.
There's no REAL emotional attachment to it.
The impulsive urge to buy something is not all that bad however, when it comes to certain very emotional things in our life, it becomes a real problem.
Those urges, when transferred over to anything which when done out of moderation, becomes of detrimental factor of destruction.
Eat too much junk food, you get fat.
Do too many drugs, you harm your body.
Do too many addictive things and chances are - you will die an early often agonizing death.
Which leads us too thousands of fad diets, AA programs, drug rehabilitation places, even yes sex addict meetings for those who allow their urges to take over their lives in one way or another.
What is hard to understand is that why men and women IMPULSE BUY into relationships all too often and yet those very same people are not impulsive at all...
Except when it comes to relationships.
Maybe some of them are, maybe some of them are not, but based on the vast majority of sad stories of relationships going bad, lots of those hardships could've been avoided if certain things were done to avoid entering yet another IMPULSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
Take a moment to think about your last failed relationship:
- Where did you meet?
- How did you meet?
- Which one did the pursuing or chasing and which one "played" hard to get?
- Did you qualify the other person in a way which creates attraction AND allows you to see the other person for who they are?
- Do you have standards and exact traits you look for in a man which are compatible and healthy for the both of you?
- Do you often lower your sights because you don't feel good enough to do better? The reverse case, does it feel others disqualify you because of that very same reason?
- Are you happy being single?
- Do you impulse buy into relationships way too early?
- How many people did you date until that last relationship? Did you feel pressured into it because you just wanted to be with SOMEONE, ANYONE?
- Are you afraid of being alone? Does it scare you when you think the loneliness will never end unless you commit to you someone quickly? Like your "clock" is ticking and if you don't find someone soon, you'll never be with someone?
- Do you often trust your instincts or intuitions about someone or do you ignore or look past it hoping you got it wrong? Just maybe you're thinking it's you and not them?
And those are just some of the important details which make or break relationships most people overlook because, perhaps it's just too easy to IMPULSE buy into another one.
AND, we haven't even touched onto the very important part of knowing how to communicate to someone while in a relationship which strengthens it.
Since most are NOT taught HOW to do it, I'll assume many people get it wrong and are apt to destroy even a good thing when they finally find it.
It seems that most are opting to take the easy path and often that path is not the right one.
I'm not saying everything that is difficult must be good...
But everything that is appreciated and valued more, is most likely achieved through hard work and dedication.
The more time you spend earning money, the more you're likely to appreciate it and value it no matter how much you actually make.
The longer and more effort it takes to get something, the more likely you will put a high value on that item, no matter what it is.
The more time you spend on yourself... working through all the bullshit, figuring things out, getting a handle on who you are, what you're looking for, what makes you happy, what drives you and your passions:
The higher value you WILL see in yourself and in turn, the more others will value you more too.
Okay, let's assume - hooking up is EASY. Getting in a relationship is EASY. Meeting people is EASY... for most folks who are at least socially competent and actually get out of their house or apartment once in a while.
But you know what that means?
Yes.
You guessed it.
Less value or worth is put on probably the most important thing in anyone's life - their relationships with others matter what that relationship is - be it family, friends, or sexual long-term partners.
One more thing to consider:
Remember the easy stuff, how we don't value it so much?
Consider ONE breakup you've had and if that's not possible, think about another person's unfortunate divorce or sad story of a couple going their separate ways.
Notice how hard it was for them to actually break up.
It's not simple at all. It can take years before one finally walks away and completely ends it.
It's like they're holding on so tight to something which is obviously failing and yet (despite having children together which complicates things but doesn't make it impossible) they continue to wait it out and hope things get better.
Why do they hold on for so long?
Because of all the effort, the value, the time, some emotional crutches, a fear of being failure. Etc...
No one actually likes admitting they failed, even though it's something we MUST do from time to time.
And so...
They work harder to keep something around, then they did to get it, even when it's not working because of the very same reason they avoided doing in the first place...
The work needed to meet, date, commit, to a person they CAN spend their rest of their lives together.
Getting in a relationship IS easy.
Getting out appears to be so much tougher.
AND I think that's entirely backwards!
It should be harder to get in a relationship with someone because of all the actual work required to build a solid one which will last and be fulfilling.
Doing the work makes you value the end result even more, and stops you from IMPULSE BUYING your way to avoid being alone or settling with a partner you're just "okay" being next to.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not.
I'm a 49 year old man who spent his life avoiding commitment until I was absolutely positive SHE was the one for me.
Sure I spent my younger years trying a few out.; I then spent a few years bitching and whining about not being able to get with a woman I thought was for me.
Sure I spent some time sleeping around with those who suited my purpose of getting laid.
However - along the way. I DID the research. I LEARNED what I could. I tried my best to make sure the real long-term relationship I entered in WAS GOING TO BE THE BEST EXPERIENCE Of MY LIFE.
Not because I'm special.
I'm not.
Not because I'm smarter than you.
I'm probably not.
But because I wanted to VALUE the person MORE than the RELATIONSHIP.
I wanted to make sure I was anything and everything I could for HER and for MYSELF too.
And I'm no freaking genius here.
So I reiterate my point, and welcome all those who wish to prove me wrong...
Getting in a relationship is easy. Getting out is so much tougher, & I think that is backwards.
It should be tough to get in a relationship and easy to get out of one because of all the work we do on ourselves while looking and qualifying for the right person for us, SHOULD be REAL HARD WORK, but work worth all the extra effort in the end.
In doing so, only then we'll place such a high value on the finished product, succeeding becomes well, not something to think about or revel in our accomplishment, but something that just happens because the two people who actually do find themselves together - fit and BELONG to each other.
Let me know what your thoughts below are, but in the mean time...
IF you feel I'm onto something, then it's time to GO TO WORK to make your next relationship the BEST you've ever had:
