Is He Playing Hard To Get or Is He Hard To Get & What That Means To You

Ihave proposed and hopefully proven to you that there are only two types of guys, the ones who get you and the ones who do not.

Today, I'd like to extend that a little and make men even more simple.

Within those two groups exists a sub-type which I feel is very important to understanding men:

The guys who PLAY hard to get and the ones who ARE hard to get, date, and/or ready to make a lasting commitment to a relationship.

It feels logical to assume the men who play hard to get are the bad guys and the ones who don't play those game are the good guys, but they are not separated or categorized in that way at all.

You can see their reasons for being hard to get are quite varied and are not necessarily related to their character type.

I'll work from back to front and list each one...

» The Men Who PLAY Hard To Get «

Some have been overly needy in their past with women and are trying not to look desperate and pathetic this time around. They're trying to change their unattractive bad habits of the past.

They've had a tendency to get too heavy much too quickly push women away.  They're hoping to stop it from happening again.

Granted this is a rare group but you must admit, their "playing" is not meant to cause harm or pain to you.

They're good guys just "trying" to better themselves.

In reality, it's the TACTIC they may use on you while playing hard-to-get which would make them a good guy or just another asshole.

The PLAYERS can and often do have several women lined up and will lure them in through any technique or tactic they know.

You can read about their techniques and more in this post: The ONLY Way To Spot A Real Player

Here are just a few related to playing hard to get:

They'll pull back abruptly after allowing things to get just close enough. Yes, getting intimate or even closer minus the physical part will be their idea which will play out in their favor later on.

They'll avoid and ignore your calls or messages and have lots of excuses designed to actually make you feel guilty for thinking or accusing them of ignoring you.

Another game played happens once they know they have you "on their hook" they'll play deeper and less known power moves to guarantee you're always chasing them. They are often passive aggressive mind games and end up being very destructive.

Moving on to the next type...

Sometime in his life, typically in his younger years, he "accidentally" did some things that attracted a few women, but he's unclear as to why it worked for him.

Whatever he actions he took that made him attractive to women will continue until they don't help him anymore.

The strange part about this type is that his attractiveness is not felt internally. He doesn't feel good enough or understand why women like him which causes lots of issues and determines his actions.

He'll play "allusive" and "hard to get" to feel more powerful and in control to make up for his feelings of not being good enough or deserving of women.

Oddly enough, this type tends to follow typical well-known dating rules most likely because they have little knowledge of attraction and go with whatever advice is common:

• Don't call for three days.
• Don't text her back quickly.
• Never call her first.
• Sex always on the third date.
• Etc..

If watched closely, men like this are extremely predictable making them easy to spot.

His type IS hard to get because he has internal issues (as noted above) which stop him from committing to any one woman for an extended period of time.

He's not "playing" , it's who he is and although there are certain tactics you could use to change his mind, unless he comes to realize and correct the problem himself, his commitment will NEVER be real.

» The Men Who ARE Hard To Get «

Fear and designed to protect us from harm.

Necessary for survival but when left un-checked for long periods of time and create emotions not caused by the real pain we wish and need to avoid can wreak havoc in all of our lives.

It's not a surprise when it comes to relationships and commitments how a man's fears will control him and his every move or action.

Which also means this type is NOT playing hard to get, he IS hard to get.

I've written a 9,000 word post on a man's fear of commitment so there's no need to get into all the details.

You can read it right here:

It doesn't cover everything related to psychology and relationships but I do believe you'll find it useful and understand men in ways you've never dreamed possible.

Moving to the next type...

They ARE hard to get because they're usually dating several women at the same time and are having problems deciding which one is the best for them.

It's not necessarily a bad thing to be a serial dater but it's hard to tell the difference between a commitment-phobe and this type.

The easiest way to see the difference is:

Men who fear commitment tend to be always on the edge of getting in a relationship with you, but back out at the last minute.

Men who are serial daters rarely if ever talk about relationships and commitments unless asked directly.

Serial daters tend to enjoy the "buffet" and the process a little too much.

That was me for years.

I wanted it all because up until I learn how it all worked, I was sexually deprived and dateless for an unbearably long time.

This also caused me to have extremely high expectations of the women I was dating and would back out or reject any woman who didn't meet them.

Type ones all the way and will offer you the greatest challenge in getting something more from them.

• Have high self-esteem fortified with confidence.
• Possess an internal strength which allows them to delay gratification and don't let sex dictate their life.
• Value and respect women for who they are and not what they can give them.
• Generally give more than they receive from the world.
• Modest leaders and can be considered the Alpha of the male world.

You can read the entire list in my book, "Understanding Men Made Simple" at no charge when you sign up to my newsletter.

He has no reason to play games and therefore will never play hard to get.

It may look like he's playing a woman when he abruptly and directly rejects woman after they've gotten close, but this happens for another reason.

Certain women find him so difficult to capture and he becomes their greatest "relationship" challenge.  When all else fails these women begin to chase him and push him away.

If this happens after a closeness is achieved  and she impatiently pushes forward, he'll see it and rather than delay, he'll call it off and walk away BEFORE things go too far.

He can be the "bad boy" although we can argue on that type. He can be a seducer. An Artist. A successful man in his career.

His archetype is generally accepted world-wide as the most attractive man AND by being so offers women the greatest commitment challenge because again, he IS hard to get.

Next up...

Don't let these men fool you, they are very dangerous and can inflict lots of emotionally suffering as they lure you in and leave you hanging for way too long.

Even though they are not into you or attracted to you all that much, they'll keep you around, or as they say, "on the hook" for many reasons:

You make him feel a little more confident, attractive, and boost his Ego just enough

You'll find he's often looking on the "other side of the fence" and using your boost to get another woman.

He's terribly afraid of confrontation and finds it difficult to reject a woman.

He doesn't have the balls to call it off and doesn't have the strength to move on.

He doesn't know how to handle a woman's emotions or drama so he'll avoid creating them. Breaking it off with you would certainly be one of those dramatic moments.

He also delays rejecting you because he know it will leave him alone to start again. He'll be left with no intimacy in his life and finds it hard to function alone.

He's not being completely honest with himself and how he feels about you.

He likes you but feels something is missing. He just doesn't know what it is.

He ignores his inner voice because he's generally a good guy and feels he "should" be into you because you're so cool and good with him.

He wants to like you more and tries to believe it. Some days he actually does, but on other days he doesn't. You'll find him acting sporadically and unpredictable based on what he is feeling on any given day or longer.

He's not actively dating or seeking out other women. He doesn't have much if a social life.

He feels he has no real choice in the matter anyways. In other words, he lives in a world of scarcity.

He believes women are the choosers and feels helpless to do anything but accept the woman who likes him.

He feels like he settled and believes that is just as unfair to you as it is to him. He thinks YOU can do better but not possibly him.

Settling also comes with a price and he sees it. To avoid facing reality he shoves the thoughts deep down as they show a future in which he admits he's been living a lie all the time.

Again...

Whatever his full reason is for keeping you on the hook, this type is VERY dangerous to you and possibly your emotionally well-being.

The danger comes from the fact that these men are not really bad people. They're not playing games.

It's all too easy to like or love them and "hope" they're come around but since the deeper attraction really isn't there, something more must be done by YOU to create it and connect with so he DOES get it...

Because he rarely if ever will on his own.

Relationship with him or not, he IS HARD TO GET because even if he commits to you, in his mind, he has not convinced himself of it.

You'll find him acting aloof, distant, unmoved, emotionally void, and everything else you DO NOT want from a guy.

The Conclusion...

Today's post took a deep look into men of all sorts who either PLAY hard to get or ARE hard to get as it relates to commitments and dating, up to entering a relationship.

Do you know which guy you are dating or have dated or  in the past?

It's now easy to see which ones may have fooled or played you purposely and which ones, based on their actions, are not playing at all... it's just a part of them which makes them either HARD to get because they're REAL men, or hard to get because they have issues they need to work on.

The REAL question now becomes...

Is there a way to use all this information to go past just understanding men better and make a real positive difference in your life?

OR...

What can all this mean for you?

I'd say first of all, knowing early on if you're being played or not is always a good thing.

Avoiding and eliminating a toxic man from your life entirely and efficiently has benefits which go well beyond saving you some time.

Fewer heartaches with less suffering and painful moments tends to allow more happiness into your life which transfers over to all your interactions with men.

This in turn leads to you attracting men with the same positive mindset.

Secondly, understanding men on this level gives you the tools and knowledge to CONNECT with a guy like most men have never experienced with a woman before...

The third but possibly not the final reason...

The is the one I feel so strongly and passionate about because of all the emails and questions I get from women that make me angry, sad, and sometimes helpless all at the same time:

That last guy mentioned above, the one who is most likely settling for you...

You DESERVE BETTER!

I'm not knocking him down. I used to be much worse than him. I get where he's coming from and understand why and how he is the way he is but... again...

You deserve better BUT, and this is a huge BUT, IF you're ready to step up and go beyond him.

You see. That guy is stuck. He's not doing anything to change his status in life. He's not seeking real information and new paradigms.

He's created a world for himself to live comfortably in while surrounding himself with a huge set of limited beliefs.

He refuses to change or do anything about it and takes women just like you with him, who are only all-too willing to go there with him.

Don't get stuck there yourself.

Refuse to go there with him.

It's the perfect time to make sure YOU ARE HARD TO GET in all the right ways.

Men LOVE the challenge.

REAL men step up to the challenge.

Try this promotion I'm offering and please let me know how well it worked for you.

Getting a guy is NOT about catching him.

It's all about freeing yourself from your past limitations and getting in touch with your most attractive self, and letting it guide you.

HOW to do that and so much more is all covered by Mirabelle Summers from Meet Your Sweet in her Get A Great Guy Guide.

Despite what the cover or title says you're taught and shown through real exercises how you can guide YOURSELF and okay... Get the guy.