Hey Mr Pete, i have been attending this camp during the summer (still have) and there is this guy i like an, we have each others numbers and we text and talk (in person )and have convos the phone sometimes, he has asked me to hang out with him but ive been really busy … his personality is quiet but he will talk if you say something to him but i wonder do he likes me?? Or at least intrested.?? please help.. i dont know what to say to him beacuse i dont know how he feels … please help thank you
Hey Miss Summer Camp Drama,
You sound young so here’s a piece of advice about men hopefully you will be able to use forever.
Girls are cool and all 
but most guys hang out with “other” dudes.
Sure we’ll have women friends and do things with them BUT, and please never forget this – Guys who text you, talk to you in person, talk on the phone, AND ask you to hang out are telling you one thing…
I LIKE YOU.
Let me turn around this to me and we’ll assume this girl I know is shy and friendly, texting me, talking to me, even asks me to hang out with her…
You know what I assume – or what I’ve been taught to do – or better yet what I trained myself to believe… SHE WANTS ME. 😀
What if I were to always believe the opposite?
… No one is attracted to me.
What if I was always looking for more signals or signs?
… I’d spend most of my time looking and not acting or leading. I’d get stuck in my head waiting for something to happen instead of being in the moment or making something happen.
What if I were to assume she just wants to be friends?
… Guess I’ll just be “friendly” back and hope she changes her mind.
So yes. It’s true – if you can believe this, not every woman is going to want me. Sometimes I’ll get it wrong. Sometimes I’ll even make a fool for it.
Yet thinking the opposite has proven to me, and lots of other guys and girls just like you…
It’s better to be positively wrong some of the time then it is to be negatively right most of the time.
Here’s something so profound and it’s going to blow your mind… please question it but never forget it because it’s very powerful.
If the signs a guy IS interested in you are NOT talking to you, texting you, seeing you in person, asking you to hang out, or even being just remotely friendly and all guys are NOT created equal…
Then precisely what signal would prove to you ( without a doubt ) a guy has some kind of feelings for you?
“So just sit back, enjoy the ride, and realize that the right man will WANT to commit to you by his own volition. You don’t have to DO anything to make it happen. Keeping a Man Interested in You and What To Do With The Right One
They’re not going to try to kiss you too early – with good reason of course.
They’re not going to tell you they’re in love with you early – because they barely know you.
They’re not going to grab you hand and demand your attention – well because most guys don’t have the balls to do that.
They’re not going to mention quickly had badly they want to get in your pants because – whereas some guys do and they might be better off getting that out-of-the-way early, but most guys are nice and have a little more class or less crass than that.
You mentioned that you don’t know what to say to him because you’re not sure how he feels…
I would consider what I’ve written you today to help you decide how you want to handle this problem and any future problems you might have in figuring out what a guy is thinking.
Assume you ARE able to attract not just him but lots of guys – and as long as they’re being active with you and not treating you exactly like one of their guy friends – stop looking for the signs…
Be positively wrong some of the time because you’ll find by doing that – it may not work perfect – but it’s better than better negatively wrong most of the time.
As I tell my guys – Keep moving forward at a reasonable ( not forced ) pace until otherwise directed to stop.
Thanks for writing in and I do hope this solves some of you Summer Camp Drama, Miss
Pete
6 comments… add one
Hi Pete, sometimes I’m confused when I make plans with a guy. They don’t specifically come out and say it’s a date and I don’t want to assume. Sometimes it’s just not clear. Is there any way to know if a guy is asking you out on a date or just to hang out as friends? Or is the ambiguity of it being a date or not a bad sign from the beginning? A dude perspective would be very helpful here. Thanks!
Hi Alex,
Date or not – try not to put a label on it.
The easiest way is to notice his actions towards you.
Date or not, a guy who wants to hang out with you as “just friends” won’t flirt with you. He won’t offer more than just friendly touches. He’ll treat you as another guy friend talking about guy stuff. He’ll talk about other women easily especially the ones he attracted to. He may even prefer to always be surrounded by other friends as in a group outing.
I teach my guys to avoid the “old” concept of dates and therefore it’s not a bad sign if it doesn’t feel like it’s a date. As long as he “acting” like he’s attracted to you then i’s a GOOD sign because it means he knows how to have fun and wants to share that fun with YOU.
I understand not all guys are obvious at first if it’s a date and some guys make it all too obvious and unfortunately confide it to dinner or something like that.
I also understand some guys believe they have to act like a friend first and constantly put themselves in the friends zone before they reveal their feelings.
BUT when you tease him a little, when you yourself flirt with him, break the touch barrier discreetly or not, and give him signals that you’re attracted to him OR are at least willing to give him a fair shot…
You’ll know what he’s feeling most of the time.
Thanks for the great question Alex and I hope that helps you out,
Pete
Hello,
I have a guy crush who lives across the street from my home. Before, he was showing interest on me, but i was shy to smile at him so i end up ignoring or appearing snubbing him instead. One time, a male friend came over my house, and they were infront of his garage chatting, Then suddenly I came out of the house, and our eyes crossed, as well as his friend. They just both stare at me, and i stare for them, and i look away, and didnt greet anyone of them. My face was formal. Then from then on, he has been ignoring me, and not looking to me when i pass by. So, raised my couraged up, and tried to initiate greeting him everytime i see him. He will respond, greet, smile me too, but is not doing any moves. So, one time, I initiate talking to him, and pretend to ask cigarette, & aSJ him if he can help me to take out my car batter, and carry it in the store for replacement the following week. He gave me one stick of cigarette, but didnt bother to offer additional cigaretted, & he agreed to show me to take out the car battery, but was not willing to go with me, and carry the car battery inside the store. I was disappointed with his responses. Isnt it when a guy really likes you, he will offer additional sticks of cigarretes just to please you?? And isnt it, if a guy likes you he will be willing to not just take out the battery, but so eager to carry the battery so he can have opportunity to spend time, talk to you, and get to know you better, but I saw no indications of that from him. I asked him his phone just in case i am ready to go, i will let him know by calling him. He gave me his phone number. After few days, i texted him, whehter he was still interested to help me with the battery, and it was okey for him. But i felt that he was just compelled to response my text coz sometimes, it takes me twice to send him text before he replies. And when he replies it seems like he is just reading the first few parts of the senttences, and not reading them all the way. What do you think is happening. He once show so much interest, and then he is acting differently. I do not think she has a girlfriend coz he has always alone in his home, and i never saw woman came over his house? May I know why he is reacting that way
Hello Carol,
The blunt answer to your first question is “No.” Just because a guy might like you does not mean he will do anything for you even if it’s a simple favor or offering another cigarette or just to please you.
It sounds like he might believe your only interest in him is to get him to do something for you. This tends to turn away men.
It might have started when you said, “but i was shy to smile at him so i end up ignoring or appearing snubbing him instead. ”
First he feels snubbed, then you’re asking him for a favor, then you only follow up a text message with again, affirming that he does something for you.
What you might be seeing as a miscommunication he might be seeing as, “Well if you are interested in me, then you’ll do something for me.” Again, lots of men just won’t go there.
I apologize for the extremely delayed response but I do hope this has helped clear up some of the confusion you’re experiencing,
Pete
I had a 7 months relationship with a guy but we broke up and I already had relationship with another guy and so with him to another girl but they broke up and so with mine but i still feeling for him but i always ignore him because i feel bitter about our break-up but lately we started to be friends and had good conversations, he sometimes greet me when we see each other at the school and he text me..may i know why is he acting like this? i mean i don’t want to assume anything.. he always gives me mixed signals… please help me.. thanks
I would assume most guys hold on to feeling for a long time and lots of guys are willing to give it a second go…. especially if you’re both on the younger side.
Assume it and the worst that could happen is nothing. Since you’ve already been in a relationship, starting something new is really not that hard at all. It tends to happen naturally if you give it a chance.
Ignore the mixed signals. What you might be seeing as mixed are probably not his intention at all.
Remember, I’m not saying it’s definite, just a possibility but sometimes you have to take the chance or risk it IF you want something to happen.
Pete