Hello Kadiatou,
There are actually many reasons why guys can be a little mean to girls.
Let’s assume we’re talking about younger guys so as they get older you might notice they can get a little nicer but it’s not always the case. A debatable percentage of men never grow up with regards to how they communicate or commit to women.
It’s called teasing.
“He’s out to stir your emotions not unlike the good “ribbing” he may give his friends. Except he’s doing it a little differently with you. At least I hope he is.
Mostly he’s looking to have some fun with you.”
Why Do Men Continue to Do Something When They Know it Bothers You.
Sometimes it’s the ONLY way they know how to flirt.
If it’s not obvious that the guy is being a rude prick then you can guess he is attracted to you.
Why it happens and where it begins is a little more complicated.
My “manly” gut tells me it’s about using the old stupid trick against what some might call a woman’s greatest weaknesses with men…
Wanting what they (think) they can’t have AND having a perceived low self-esteem.
Teasing her negatively (or being mean) might be his way of lowering your self-esteem below his and by doing so, also makes him seem more attractive and less attainable.
If you find a guy “hard to get” or believe he would never be attracted to you, it has a strange effect of driving up your attraction for him.
Another effect of being somewhat mean to women is definitely being taught to lots of guys in every attraction book written.
It triggers an emotional response which for bad, better, or worse, definitely triggers attraction of some sort.
If he can’t make you feel something “nice” for him, why not make you feel something bad for him…. right?
Encouraging your anger, confusion, or self-doubt will tend to bring you closer to feeling attracted to him than a guy just being way too nice and kissing your ass all the time.
Lastly, if there ever was a lastly when we’re talking about us guys, it’s a very strange and weird way of a dude displaying indifferent confidence.
“When there’s no real challenge to prove we are, attraction fails. Why you like those who don’t want you and not like the guys who do want you.”
Why The Guys You Like Don’t Want You But You Don’t Want The Ones Who Do.
What guy who doesn’t have the balls would dare tease a woman or be slightly mean or rude to her, right?
So, in a way he’s displaying indifference because he showing you he doesn’t care how you see him or what you think of him.
He’s displaying confidence by not being afraid to say or do what’s on his mind.
All too nice guys struggle with this and it’s a big reason why they don’t attract lots of women.
They’re niceness is not trusted or believed or seems real when they’re so deathly afraid of saying what’s on their mind… around a woman that is. At home or with their buddies, the truth ALWAYS comes out.
Guys are mostly ONLY mean to girls they’re attracted to whether or not they care to admit their feelings.
Let’s not rule out the pricks who just get off on making others feel like shit by boosting their own ego, so it’s not always attraction.
However, generally speaking, a crush is usually involved.
Sometimes you’ll have to decide whether or not the guy has a severe character flaw or is just teasing you by being mean.
The easiest way to tell is, if he’s “trying” to laugh with you then he is “teasing” you!
Over all, in case you’re wondering…
YES! Some guys DO enjoy teasing a woman while being a little rude to her IF there’s a raised level of flirting because of it.
Flirting is a mostly human connection on a level which transcends society, age, and circumstance. Why Do Men (and women) Flirt? Does it Have Anything To Do With Love?
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7 comments… add one
So basically him not answering my texts while on vacation with his family is teasing me?? He only replied when he was on his way to the airport and on the plane…once he reached his destination, I became NADA, even though he said he would see me when he got back in two weeks and has been posting pictures of him and his family online……yea so he’s teasing me and not being a jerk?? Did I get that right? Thanks for responding!
So basically him ignoring my texts while on vacation with his family is him teasing me?? He replied to me when he was on his to the airport saying we would see each other in two weeks when he returned but once he arrived to his destination he hasn’t responded….so I can take it as him teasing me and not being a complete jerk?? Thanks for responding!
I would say no, it’s not considering teasing AND I have never said that. I don’t have a clue where you got that from.
And also, I understand you’re angry, it happens, just please take it out on the people you’re angry with and not the anonymous guy who failed to respond to you within your frame of time.
Please.
Thank you Peter! I didn’t mean to post the comment twice…apparently he had he was seeing another girl besides me that I never knew….and he had no intention of ever getting serious with either of us…..now he wants to remain friends….I agreed for now because I don’t want him out of my life yet and because I still love him and am not completely over him…
You’re welcome Liz. Hope you’ll continue to look and definitely date elsewhere. I don’t want to see you never getting over him.
Thanks Peter! I have been looking elsewhere and he pretended to be another guy to see if I would agree to go out…..I had the hunch it was him so I went along with it…..eventually he figured out I was on to him and the guy magically disappeared….my ex has not admitted to this yet and has gone as far as having his lesbian cousin pretend to be with him and post pics of the two of them to make me jealous….at first I was but then I figured out she was his cousin and got angry…I called him on it and now he’s avoiding me…..I don’t get him….ohhh and he never had a gf….
Good information and very carefully thought about article. I have had this happen to me.