The “natural” view is actually quite simple. Men, being built to procreate many times and “spread their seed” are actually designed to sleep with many women in their lifetime.
Now I understand in this modern social world men have a choice. They can choose to sleep with a few, or commit forever to one girl.
He can choose to stare temptation in the face and deny any woman who is willing to have sex with him. ( Granted being human we ALL have the option to step out of our traditional roles and do something different. )
Some of you might even assign a level of strength to him.
The stronger man can resist his instinctual sexual drive.
The weaker man gives in even though he knows it could emotional hurt her.
Yet the stronger man has more temptation and the weaker man doesn’t. So it’s not really a fair assessment.
What about this?
Very few women I have known will have sex with a guy who does not have the option to sleep around.
You want the best mate for you and typically he will be highly sought out by other women too. Thus the man you want the most has a greater probability of cheating on you too.
I know.
Kind of sucks but it’s true.
Some argue in the modern world we live in these rules, for lack of a better word, don’t apply.
They throw around the word “love” and expect if a man loves a woman he should never stray. She should be all he ever needs.
Doesn’t work that way though – does it?
Especially when so many men struggle with the definition of love.
Especially when there’s guys who will obsess over a woman until he’s had sex with her and the “thrill” wears off.
The male sex drive can be powerful and sometimes dominating.
It can take control over us and send us into the arms or bed of any woman willing or when properly directed can drive us to succeed in more areas than just sexual conquest.
Based on my experience there’s a certain relevance to the male orgasm and our instinctual drive to sleep around.
There have been so many nights where after I release my male potency alone ( so as not to confuse the feelings when a woman’s involved ) and not ten seconds later I felt let down. Like it wasn’t good enough.
Even after having delayed gratification for several hours it felt like, “That was it?!!!”
The longer we wait, within reason, the more we produce.
But after, depending on the circumstance we might even feel a little guilty.
More empathetic.
Thirsty and hungry and sometimes apathetic, sometimes contempt and tired.
Whatever the after affects happen to be…
When the drive is temporarily removed, the primal urge to reproduce no longer connected to us, there’s a strange feeling of loss.
Like we’re missing something.
In the arms of our proclaimed love this can easily be overcame with a hug, a shared story, or anything emotional connection. Thus equating love to the experience and to the person we’re with.
In the arms of an affair, a one night stand, a situation where we can not connect love to the persona we’re with, this loss does not go away until the next time.
Keeping us in forever search of the perfect lay.
You would think the first experience would keep us happy. Stop us from straying or at least be enough reason to only ever want to be with the one we love but…
What if we don’t feel that connection or we don’t know how to open up, or what if the women we’re with doesn’t allow it to happen, or doesn’t know how to respond to a man after, or what if she isn’t allowing his sex drive to be completely brought out.
Or even worse yet what if he feels like she has not been completely satisfied and after the moment, while the drive has left, he no longer feels powerful but weak and unable to perform.
My point is the male orgasm is a sudden release of all that makes us male but has little to do with makes us a responsible adult according to social standards.
Depending on our lifestyle, willpower, ability to succeed, our health, or anything related in the few moments we’re about to release is when we feel the pure power and strength of ourselves.
Some of us may not find the “emotion” anywhere in our lives and since it is short and followed by the removal of a part of our masculinity, we’re driven to search for it again and again and again…
Thus satisfying nature’s gift to us to procreate almost unconditionally as many times as physically possible.
While the build up is there nothing else matters – we’ll move mountains to achieve those few seconds before.
For so many men the desire to sleep around has nothing to do with women but more to do with his control and ability to tap into his masculine male role in nature.
Some men achieve this through different outlets, some do it by bedding lots of different women, some learn it from experience, some take her advances as being the same…
Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?
It’s not our role as provider, it’s probably not even nature granting us the ability to do so, a lot of times it’s to…
Experience a moment where we can truly enjoy a surge of our primal masculine self.
Choices, selection, ability, or personal situation aside, feeling like a man who belongs in the world and is an actual contributor by doing exactly what we’re designed to do appears to be reason enough.
What all this means is of course open to interpretation, speculation, and reasoning.
If you’re a guy tell me – Why do you sleep around?
But if you’re a woman tell me this…
What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you’re the definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment? AND you find yourself constantly searching for it again by any means possible?
If you can find that answer and believe it to be true – then you can certainly imagine why men do in fact sleep with so many different women regardless of the situation or the affect of his actions.
Men sleep around because it’s what we do. If you deny yourself that and don’t express that to your spouse then your kidding yourself. Why do you think 60+ year old men date 20 something women? Yeah. It must be love. *snicker*
Well most women are ahead of that game, that is for sure.
Nahhh,men who think they need to prove something by sleeping around are just insecure dirty whores. I like my men clean and pristine. I’m not looking for an STD.
Why didn’t you answer the question about the moment that made you feel the most feminine?)
I agree with you. I don’t want a whore with a STD. When a man gets sick with an STD, he will stop playing around and look for someone long term to take care of him. Pitiful!
I understand we’re at “Why Do Guys” but we must remember sex (usually haha) involves two or more people.
I agree Scarlett – men who do sleep around just to prove something probably are very insecure. Hell I’d be even so bold to call a RARE few of them sadists.
BUT dirty, ehhh I imagine many of them shower and clean themselves. And whores to me implies “someone” is getting paid.
Aside from all that – there are lots of men AND women who enjoy having sex with lots of different partners because of the act of sex itself is an enjoyable thing.
I suppose it comes down to responsibility and honesty and a little more.
To answer your question: What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you’re the definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment?
I can’t honestly think of any one moment that makes me feel the “definition of femininity.” But I can say for sure that the most pleasurable thing in life I’ve ever experienced is being desired by a man. Hands down. No sex or relationship or anything needs to come from that. Just being recognized as attractive and desirable by men was always hook enough for me.
I was attractive and got lots of attention, so whenever I felt bad, I would just put on some blue jeans, lip stick and take a walk in town. The smiles, hellos, offers to get a soda or coffee from the men I passed, of course, cheered me up. (Other times when I wanted to be alone but needed to be out running errands or such, that kind of attention annoyed me also. And such attention isn’t always friendly or good natured either.) I didn’t pursue men. I didn’t lead men on. I just showed up and smiled. I didn’t risk getting pregnant or hurting someone or lying about my activities to get a fix. But I did enjoy the privilege that came with beauty when I had it, and I now regret that I did not use my privilege more to benefit others.
Eventually I aged out of this. Looks don’t last forever, so it was a tremendous loss of personal power when they were gone. I’m many decades now from my attractive maiden years. And I’ve learned how empty and vacuous it was reaching again and again for affirmation of a male’s desire for me. (Not speaking about all women here, just my personal relationship with my looks.) I had an easy fix, so I didn’t look for anything else. Losing my youthful looks forced me to find inner resources, so that I no longer had the need to use someone or something external to feel better about myself or to connect to an authentic part of myself.
I think your post is dead on about why men sleep around. Yes, there is the nagging desire for sex that men feel. And there are the men who find getting sex with many different women quite easy, so they reach for this as a pick-me-up, as affirmation of their masculinity, as distraction, ego boost, or what have you, again and again.
Addiction is addiction by any other name. Men who sleep around, make the choice to reach for something outside of themselves. The same is true with women who sleep around. It isn’t the impulse, it’s what we hope to get out of giving into it that keeps us hooked. When we see through the hollowness of our addictions (whatever they may be) of sex with multiple partners, or in my case, garnering the smile or invite from a man to feel better or make life interesting, the impulse won’t drive us anymore, and we can make kinder, more respectful, more responsible choices in our lives. Then our connection to our best nature is abiding and strong.
Well said👍🏿
Most women unfortunately are the biggest Cheaters nowadays.
A profound statement. 😉 What is your source? Can you prove it? Were you around (back then) to know at least a rough number of women who cheated was actually less than men?
The foundation of an ALL statement is (generally) based on a false limited belief system.
I make no predictions on one side or the other and probably could argue either sides case so I agree it’s certainly a debatable topic BUT as a mere statement alone, it only entices OTHERS to do the real work needed to back up YOUR claim.
When you do (that) I can only assume you’re looking for attention or to entice others to either join you or not and I can assure you at “why do guys” you’re voice will most likely only be hear by a few who couldn’t care less and are not enticed to argue with you. 🙂
Pete