I‘m a guy and yes, I’ve managed to upset a few women in my life.
This even prompted me to write a post called “Ten Reasons To Hate Me” Of course I wrote it to show my readers how you can not like a guy or what he’s doing and yet still feel attracted to him. I explained how a jumble of mixed emotions on your side is much better than feeling nothing at all.
Let’s be completely honest. Men can, okay once in a while 😀 piss you off.
Tell us your rant about men below- Click Here
Maybe you feel like you’re being played. How one minute he’s into you and the next time he acts like you don’t even exist. Like he couldn’t even care less.
Perhaps he has a mean edge you don’t understand. In private he’s “super sweet” but in public he’s a cold-hearted prick to you.
He acts distant. He was hurt in the past. He’s terrified of commitment and refuses your help to get past it all. It’s like he’s always living in fear that women are all to hurt him.
On the lighter side of things – Maybe he’s just lazy. You don’t seem to connect on the smaller things in life. He’s a slob. You’re a neat freak. Or he feels everything needs to be in “his” order and you can’t even find your keys half the time. To him it means something and you can not see why it’s such a big deal to him.
On the sexier side – He refuses to learn how to go down on you properly. He’s quick in bed. He’s too slow in bed. It’s not that he doesn’t understand your fantasies it’s the fact he won’t explore them or even talk about it.
On the dating end – Men act like robots. They ask boring questions. They give you the same experience and you go along with it hoping maybe “this one will be different. Or they’re not even asking you out. They stare, gawk, smile, wink, act all into you – but refuse to take the next obvious step. And that’s to go somewhere, anywhere with you so you can finally learn all about you.
Don’t forget about the bad boys, always out to annoy you. Always getting in trouble for no reason at all. The immature boys who treat you like you’re nothing but a body. The quite type who refuses to give you any “real” information about what he feels.
Or how about “Mister Overly Confident Cocky Ass” who believes nothing less than he’s a gift to all the women in the world and you must want him too. Of course only for his body.
Then you have the jealous guys who don’t trust you. Grrrr!!!
The clever guys who manage to say the right thing all the time leaving you speechless. The words you so eloquently devised to say were left pushed back and unmentioned because once again, no matter how hard you try – you just can not help but to love him. So you remain silent and always temporarily appeased.
Whatever it is – I’m positive (you’re a woman) so at some point a man has upset you.
So tell me – What Do You Really Hate About Me?
(Oooops I mean men, your man, the guy down the street, the online perverts, etc…)
This is your chance to get it all out and in the open.
What do YOU want men to know about YOU and what would you like them to STOP doing?
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE POSTING A RANT ABOUT MEN – These will be heavily monitored and this page will updated accordingly. Refrain from using real names and places. This is meant to be a learning process. A way to understand men better. Opening up better communication between the sexes. To help you get ALL your frustrations out so you can get on with securing a wonderful and happy life. Oh yeah – please have fun with it. – Pete
24 comments… add one
I hate the way he makes me laugh, feel comfortable and happy, softly and sensually kisses me, then looks deeply in my eyes and tells me he likes me too AND suddenly disappears, stops talking to me, acts like there’s nothing going on between us… It’s killing me
I hear you Louise and I understand, because I’ve had women do that to me. All I can say is try to see the “parts in between” as necessary to make the other parts that much more exciting.
I hate how we spent all our free time together, how he would always give me rides home, how everyone would ask if we were a couple, how jealous he would act if I looked at other guys but he would never ask me out. And when I did admit my feelings for him he said nothing and left me feeling like a fool :-(.
I know exactly how you feel as I went through the same. Sometimes, people are afraid to mess up something really important. Things are good between you, so he doesn’t know if taking it to the next level will mess up the friendship, and he would rather have you in his life as a friend than not at all. If he’s young (under 30), it will take time for him to realize a lot of things and he’s still learning about himself. You should back off, but don’t burn the connection with him. He needs to miss you to realize how much you mean to him. Use some excuse, such as you’re going away from summer camp, working on a big personal project, or whatever sounds reasonable, to disappear from his life for a while so he can miss you. Trust me on this. And if he doesn’t realize how valuable you are, then HE’S the fool, and you are better off with someone who CAN realize your worth. Most guys don’t understand their own feelings, so you have to help them figure it out by disappearing and letting them miss you.
I hate when he talks about my tits in front of people and calls me his. Hey buddy these are my tits my body and my mind. You just get to play with them. Lol
So it’s okay to talk about your tits as long as he admits they’re yours? Hmmm…. 😉
I hate how my husband didn’t want a “sick wife” and “traded me in for a new model” after I broke my neck. I hate how the next guy lost his job, asked me for $20K (that I didn’t give to him), and moved to Iowa. I hate how the next guy lost his job, I helped him get a new one, he was always acting very jealous, he knocked up a waitress at the restaurant he used to take me to all of the time, and he texted/called me begging me to take him back (which I didn’t) for 9 months after I found all of this out. I hate how the guy who told me he didn’t want a relationship, but who asked me out for a 3rd date, called me a c*nt and a b*tch when I politely declined. I hate how I’ve stopped dating after being treated so badly for so many years.
I hate how his deep voice echoes in my head even after I’ve spent lunch with him, just got home from a date with him and we have talked again for hours about anything we could come up with and it still feels fun. I hate how, he says goodnight and is always the first to greet me good morning even if we both have slept only 4 hours everyday. I hate how he told me he is ridiculously falling in love with me and won’t stop and grow cold after a few days. I hate how such deep feelings be thrown out of the window because he is scared. and I hate the most is that I still long for a man to return yet I know I should move on.
I hate how this guy like totally ignored me. Like almost a year ago we confessed how we really felt and now he is like totally ignoring me. And today he talked to me for the first time in a really long time. Like a few months I think. I don’t know what to do anymore!
I hate when he stares at me, when he gets sad when I hug his sisters goodbye but not him, when he answers all my questions without being a sarcastic little shit, When he makes me laugh, when he lets me hang around his friends and him, when he tells me tht I’m normal even when I’m sitting in a baby’s crib, when he flirts with me. I hate when he does all of that and then doesn’t make a move or anything, and just leaves me hanging.
UGHHHH okay so last year there was this guy at a camp i went to and we were really good friends untill he found out that i liked him and he started to avoid me and that was the end of it anyways i went to that camp agian and now ive hit my head on a hard rock again we still dont talk be hes always flaunting his gf around me and it makes me so mad like i want to slap him in the face then make out like crazy is that werid? also when ever im not looking and i look to him we always have a werid eye contact thingy UGGGHHHHH im so confused
i really dislike the way he doesn’t follow through with plans that he had suggested a couple of days ago? i don’t get it he seemed interested by giving me compliments each time we saw each other, always in contact via text or phone calls during the week, and we kissed a couple of times….i give up on him.
Hi Pete! I’m not sure if you remember my situation from late April when I first wrote to you about my dilemma, but you invited me to follow-up to give updates and get more of your advice if I needed it. PETE, I DO NEED YOUR ADVICE AND THOUGHTS.
So, my situation is that I’m a single mom of 2 and the man who works in my apartment community is a single dad of 2, and he has a much younger son with another woman. He initiated flirtations with me very shortly after we met in January…and I reciprocated his flirtations once I realized he was interested in me as a more than a friend or acquaintance. Sometimes, his flirting has been very direct (HE referenced having sex, he has teased “don’t tempt me,” or he’s “too tempted,” commenting on a couple of my “assets” when stopping to talk to me while I was in the hot-tub, etc) but most of the time his flirting was just sweet (you look nice, you’re a smart lady, I like when you wear your hair up….) I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t asking me out on a date, since he was making his interest obvious, and I was letting him know it was mutual. Then, he told me there was a work policy against fraternizing with residents and/or other staff. He followed-it-up by hinting that he would like to eventually find a different job and said, “if I worked somewhere else, then you and I could date.” We both agreed we didn’t like the company’s rules, but then he said “rules are made to be broken….” I had given him my cell and private email to see if he was just giving me a line, or if he really wanted to see if I was open to getting to know each other outside of his job. (He never contacted me and that was fine…I figured can’t blame the guy not wanting to risk his job–especially as a single dad).
So, he still continued seeking me out and talking with me and some flirting…then he’d retreat and I couldn’t figure out if he was just keeping himself in line, if he was reprimanded, or going into his “man cave” to think/reflect, getting spooked with the idea of getting involved, or what. This pattern went on for a while. Late June, he started calling me “sweetie” and had a nickname for me. He never missed a chance to say hi/bye and talk when he had a minute in his truck or when he ran into me. He consistently initiated helping me (like if I had the hood up on my car, he’d ask if I needed a hand….or similar things—which I always made a point of thanking him and letting him know I appreciated how he looks out for me). In July, his behavior changed and he began avoiding me. He would still ask me about apartment-related things like work requests. I did ask him if I did something to make him uncomfortable and he said, “no, not at all.” I mentioned that I noticed he was not acting “quite like himself” and he said everything is good/fine; kids are good/fine–so I took him at his word. The strangest thing is that he would not talk with me unless another co-worker was with him and then it was super-brief. Also, when I did ask for help, he looked at me briefly, looked down and then to his co-worker who quickly offered to help me. So, best I could figure is that he got in trouble for us getting too friendly with one another.
Well, I just found out this morning that HE HAS BEEN IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS YOUNGEST SON….they likely live together, with all 3 of the kids between both of them! Pete…I’m utterly shocked and did not see this coming. This man has rarely talked about his youngest boy….he’s never mentioned the woman/the boy’s mom aside from one instance when I asked if his youngest son liked sports. He said, “oh yeah, in fact he was at a tournament with me Saturday morning. His mom got him later and I think he spent some time over at her parents’ house.” He totally talked liked they shared visitation…but NEVER referred to her as his girlfriend/lady, etc. He essentially lied by omission for the past 8 months we’ve known each other!
Not only am I upset for his long-term girlfriend (I would never have been flirting with a man in a committed relationship), but Pete, I feel betrayed and hurt/stung. I was the woman who decided to wait until my youngest finished high school (that will be in 11 years) before dating again. I missed having a special man in my life, or at least a dating relationship, but was afraid to take that risk again from being burned in different ways before. This man entered my life when I wasn’t looking for a man. He caught my interest from the first time we met by initiating telling me intimate things about his struggles in his marriage and as a single dad, that I really related to. He’s been on my mind for the better part of this year, and I thought he was a good, decent, honorable man with his priorities set on his kids, working hard to provide for them, religious values, good relationship with his parents, etc. Those are the qualities that attracted me and drew me in to want to get to know him better…and to take the risk of flirting back with him, when it’s not typically in my nature to be that bold.
Pete, what did I miss here? And why would a single dad take advantage by leading me on when he knows some of my vulnerabilities from my divorce situation and as a single mom???? Why would he do this?: Unhappy in his relationship? Wanting an ego boost from the attention I gave him? Tempted, but wanting to remain faithful to his long-term girlfriend? To see if he’s “still got it?” What else could there be?
How do you recommend I handle this? I am NOT going to continue to flirt, if he resumes that. He does not know that I KNOW he’s in a relationship (he may have been acting weird over a guilty conscience or may be paranoid that I somehow know, but I think he’s been avoiding me because his supervisor likely talked to him about having nothing to do with me). I’m tempted to keep this info under my hat and be direct with him if he tries flirting again. Although, I am angry and hurt and am going to have to work at just being polite/friendly, knowing what I do know. And where does “guy code” fit into this picture? I mean, his co-workers, particularly one of his good friends would know he has a girlfriend. Since I’m on good terms with his co-workers and they are always nice to me and know some of the basics of my situation, have known me longer and know I’m a nice person—does that always take a back seat to “guy code” and not letting-on when a man is playing a woman?
Pete, I’m sure you can tell by my post that I am upset by this. I know there are tens of thousands of women/men who have been in a similar situation (getting involved with someone who hid the fact they were in a serious relationship). I’m hurting over taking the risk to come out of my shell, only to have my shell broken—and knowing I will go right back in my shell to hide after this experience. Do “nice girls” finish last??? I’d like to make him eat his heart out….show him what he missed out on by screwing-up/lying/manipulating—what makes the biggest impression on a guy who’s behaved like this?
Thanks for reading and for any advice you can give me.
Autumn
Wow, Pete; I wonder if his ears are burning?? Funny thing about my rant is that by nature, I am known among my colleagues, family and friends as being the very calm, cool, collected and patient one. No one would ever know it by my post! Probably didn’t help that I wrote this right after I found out about his shady ways, and assume he pulls this behind his GF’s back too often. Guess he really got under my skin: don’t know if I should laugh or cringe!
Autumn
I hate how rude guys are in public when they’re with their friends. When they wolf whistle, or blatantly stare at your boobs, or make a comment just to make themselves look good in front of their friends. It’s very childish and really puts women off.
I hate how how still talks to me behind his girlfriend’s back. How he knows he’s not cheating and he’s smug about it, yet he’s not being truthful to her. He shouldn’t keep the fact that he’s talking to his ex a secret. Either not talk to your ex and tell your girlfriend. Problem solved.
I hate how he acts like its his right to stare yet gets mad when I reject him. maybe if he treated me like a human being and not a toy I would have some more respect for him but he refuses.
I hate how he chased me, flirted with me, figured out/told me what I wanted to hear, made overtly sexual comments to me, and told me he wanted to date me for the better part of a year. He repeatedly trifled with my emotions, knowing he was being manipulative–telling me he couldn’t date me because of the company’s anti-fraternization policy. In actuality, he—and management—conveniently overlook the policy so he could get serious with one of the managers (a woman who has a repeat habit of fraternizing within the employee pool of subordinates)….and now they’re engaged! Not at all the kind of guy I thought I was dealing with—what a self-serving player. I’m sure he tells his fiancée I’m the one who chased him all along…and I’m sure she would rather believe that, than think otherwise of “Mr. Wonderful.” Luckily, I dodged a bullet, but resent the games he played—and continued to try to play as recently as September—with me.
I hate how he’s all overly social with the others in front of me, but doesnt even try to approach me. When he does, he only talks about himself. But then later, when he’s not talking to me or anyone else, he stares at me all the time. It confuses me, and sometimes it creeps me out. Sometimes it confuses me even more because he’s always at the places where im at, it feels like im being followed.
Hello Leia,
Sounds like he “trying too hard” to get you to like him. It’s a very common problem with guys and most of them don’t even realize how creepy it actually appears.
Ok we started off as friends. Then he told me that he had a crush on me since high school. Now we are sexually involved he doesn’t want me with any other guy he says he needs me in his life but what i hate is he has a girlfriend that he claims he loves i don’t understand men???????? Why lead me on like this make me fall in love with you confuse me then this…i hate men……. Our friendship was perfectly fine.
When they don’t take the risk. This could be anything, asking for a date, the first kiss, falling in love, commitment. I feel he’s saying I’m not worth it. He says it’s because he doesn’t feel good enough. Even though I understand that and the situation, and those shy humble guys are really so sweet I’m happy to make a move or two. But really we don’t want to chase. It feels undignified. We want to be swept away sometimes. Brought up on fairy tales of knights in shining armour or whatever… It doesn’t seem to matter how good/bad my self esteem might be, it’s a disappointment if he doesn’t think I’m worth it. I’m happy to be met half way, but I don’t want to lose my balance leaning forward to far. I would rather walk away, hard as it is.
It’s amazing how many men are afraid of just “taking a risk” to save face and end up missing out on so many opportunities, right? We’re not taking about walking a tight rope here between two skyscrapers. Sure it can turn out to be an emotional risk but once we get past it, the next one usually gets easier.
Thanks again Emma,
Pete
I hate that he’s him. I hate that his laugh still makes me smile. I hate how his smile bring butterflies to my stomach. I hate how he decides to go day to day and not telling me what I am to him… I hate that he’s clueless of my feelings. I hate how he is always asking for pictures, when all I want to do is talk about his day and is he okay. I hate how he treats me. I hate him.