Hi Pete, I just wanted to ask what does it mean when a guy tells you to not judge him by the car he drives? This guy that I rarely see, he and I only exchanged a few words, and I defended him from a friend of his that was making fun of him and much later on I had told him bye, when he turned to see me, he waved and said ‘see you later’, meanwhile I was on the phone he ran to his car and shouted ‘don’t judge me this isn’t my car, it’s my mom’s’ I only smiled at him and returned to my call– Why did he randomly yell that? I’d appreciate your answer (:
Hi Anne,
Lots of men view their car as either a representation of who they are OR even an extension of them.
They also feel some women will judge a guy’s “attractive” quality by what they drive.
For example, they might believe an average looking guy driving an expensive sports car suddenly becomes more attractive.
He yelled, “don’t judge me this isn’t my car, it’s my mom’s” for that reason.
He wants you to believe he’s not some “soccer mom” driving a woman’s car. 
He wants you to see he’s a MAN.
I doubt he realized his words were probably NOT the right thing to say.
Sometimes by not caring, or leaving you to wonder, or letting himself be judged CAN be more attractive with the right woman. That’s how I feel about it.
The truth is, some women AND men can and will judge another person by what they drive.
Not everyone but enough to say that even the best of us can have a sort of “instinctual” reaction and assume certain things based on appearance alone. A car can be an extension of our appearance quite easily.
The car he was driving also affected his level of confidence.
If he had his own car, it would be something HE would have picked out for better or worse.
Something he was taking care of either in a good way or badly by leaving it dirty and filled with trash.
This extension also can be seen as a quick peak into how someone lives their life causing some guys to be very protective, just like they would about letting a woman inside their home when it’s not “ready”.
Whether it’s the car, home, or apartment, the more attracted a guy feels towards ANY woman, the more protected he might become over letting her see them or not allowing her to believe there isn’t a reason for being defensive over it.
My personal opinion AND experience on being judged “attractively” or not by some women goes quite deep.
You can read about how riding a bike to work for years affected me. I wrote it to help guys break the cycle of the friends zone. I think you’ll find it rather interesting. Of course it’s at DiaLteG TM: Breaking the Friends Zone Pattern – Are You Settling for the Easy Way Out?
It triggers an emotional response from me as I’m sure it does with lots of guys.
This also includes most of our worldly possessions, what we do for a living, our social status or our close friends, and yes… how much money we make.
If we don’t think women a one particular woman might find it attractive, we’ll either try to hide it or avoid letting you see our “embarrassment” until we know without a doubt, we have you. 😀
BUT women do the same thing, don’t you?
Can’t find something sexy to wear… “Maybe I should cancel the date?”
Can’t understand why a certain “hotter” guy would be attracted to you… “Why would he stare at me?” OR “I can’t possibly approach HIM!”
This common excuse for “flaking out” either by women or men usually leads back to confidence and self-esteem which is wrapped to one primal form of attraction…
INDIFFERENCE.
Imagine when a guy cares about how he is judged by you and is trying to explain something he feels you might not like him for… that means he’s showing interest in you.
He’s attracted to you.
He cares what YOU think about him.
Now imagine when a guy couldn’t care less if you or anyone else judges him and lays all his “perceived” faults on the table for you to see, touch, or possibly play with.
Makes it extremely difficult to tell if he is attracted to you or not, doesn’t it?
On top of that “Mister Indifference” does NOT have many attractive qualities, physical or not, yet he knows HOW to communicate with you in such a way you can’t help but to be drawn in.
But enough of that..
I’m just going to say “we” DO teach guys how to use indifference in clever ways which help them through their process of becoming more attractive.
Your guy Anne, what he yelled, was clearly his way of telling you he’s clearly invested in how you see him, which is definitely a sign of attraction or interest.
Whether it’s our job, how we live our lives, our clothes, and yes the car we drive, men everywhere feel these “extensions” are constantly scrutinized by women.
We can easily feel, and sometimes fear, how attractive we appear in YOUR eyes is eventually determined by those extensions.
When it happens to you…
If you suspect a guy is trying to hide something like this from you, or if he’s over-explaining something, or if he’s determined to defend something which could be one of those extensions…
He just might be assuming you won’t or couldn’t possibly feel attracted to him because of it.
2 comments… add one
When I was a teenager, yes it would give me an impression either positive or negative by the car he drove which is all part of our ignorance and immaturity but its a reality. Recently my girlfriends and I were talking about shoes and yes we admitted and we agreed that shoes are important. Now, as I’m just a tad older, a luxury car makes an impression but I often think, “Can he really afford that?” And if he’s driving a beater, you never know if he has a couple more toys at home, so I try not to judge. If he’s financially stable and can afford a luxury car, good. But if he can’t that’s just too much baggage and unwise decisions that can extend to much more than a car. I’m more into the person than the car, but guys please wash your car, keep your shoes clean and smell good. I do….
Thanks for your insight. I appreciate it.
And nice point… “I’m more into the person than the car, but guys please wash your car, keep your shoes clean and smell good. I do….”